Stick To The Facts Not The Feelings

Don’t Quit I’ve been at this for some time now. As a leader, I have seen the good, bad and ugly. I have led through hard times (ahem, Covid) and high times. I have seen shifts in what works and what doesn’t. I have hired good people and not so good people. I have said goodbye to  employees I thought would stay, and applauded underdog employees as they soared and excelled.   I have learned the things that I’m good at and the things that I’m not. I have made great decisions and major mistakes. I have laughed and cried, danced and grieved. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and sometimes, wanted to give up completely.   It’s not easy, this leadership thing. Sometimes I feel crazy. Sometimes I feel like I can’t possibly give enough time to both my family and to my job and keep finding time to sleep in the mix. After all of that, after it’s all said and done, I want you to know that it’s worth it.   Thanks to the great leader that my dad was before me, I have witnessed what it looks like to be resilient. He taught me what it looked like to keep going when the odds were not in his favor and when the people around him told him that he would probably fail. He showed me how hard work and staying the course leads to success and how vision and passion are essential.   Today, I am still here. I am still a leader. If I can do it then you can, too. Here are some things I learned along the way:   You Don’t Have to Do it Alone:   I have always needed people around me. My fellow leaders, family and friends have gotten me through the hardest times and my faith has truly anchored me during the storms. When the responsibility of leadership feels large and crushing, I remember to lean on them and ask them for help, for a word of encouragement, a listening ear, advice and sometimes a kick in the butt. Listening to other leaders reminds me that I’m not the only one experiencing leadership challenges. I learn from those who have gone before me and am inspired by those who have continued to lead.   Remember the Vision:   My dad was passionate about providing technology to non-profits and those who couldn’t pay the market rates. His passion carried him through the toughest of times. He had vision for a company that charged significantly lower rates than the competition and could still be successful. He didn’t give up until he had done it. I am thankful for his example. His passion reminds me the reason behind the work that I do, and on the hard days, that’s enough.   Don’t Work Too Hard:   Do work hard, but also laugh. There’s always room for fun. Make sure you don’t staunch other people’s humor or joy. Don’t book your days so full that you don’t have time for a great conversation, or to listen to a joke or to join in when someone is playing a game. Be light-hearted, quick to listen, smile and forgive. Remember not to take yourself or the work too seriously. Remember to see people for who they are and not what they can do. This will create a culture at work that is attractive and successful. It will bleed over into your leadership team and into their lives at home, making a huge different in their lives and your own.   Don’t Quit:   Sometimes the best advice is just to keep going. Get up tomorrow and do it again. Don’t give in to the stress or the negativity. Don’t believe that you can’t do it. Failure is not final if you don’t give up. Expectations might change and the work you are doing might shift. You may need to change your mindset or shift your priorities or take a step back for a season, but don’t stop. Don’t throw in the towel. Other people need you to be a good leader and to persevere when it gets hard. Remember the vision, ask for help, and keep going.   At Impact of Leadership, our goal is to come alongside you to help you grow. We can relate to all that you’re going through. We can help you avoid burnout and give you a place where you feel comfortable, have fun and get your cup filled. We know it’s hard to grow and learn while leading at the same time, so we have lots of resources available to you on the website.   Check out our 164 podcasts and 114 blogs.   Reach out, I’d love to connect with you.   Remember you’re not alone.

Embracing our differences in the workplace   I, like many, am thankful the election is over. I am happy to see yard signs disappear, text messages dwindle, and most of all—vitriolic commercials cease. This campaigning season seemed like a toxic game of tug-of-war from start to finish. I did, however, notice at least one positive thing emerge from this election cycle—a reminder that we are different.   Even if we look alike, talk alike, live near one another, have similar hobbies, even come from the same family, we sometimes and dare I say even often, have different beliefs, goals and desires. We are passionate about different things, called to different things and make different decisions, like which presidential candidate deserves our vote.   That’s just fine. I’ll say it louder, for those in the back. That’s JUST FINE. We can disagree and still have a relationship. We can be friends, we can be neighbors, we can be brothers, and we can still work well together.   In fact, in the workplace, our disagreements and differences are what makes us successful as a team. You’ve heard the common colloquialism, “variety is the spice of life.” Well, it’s stew season and never have I so appreciated the sweetness of carrots, mixed with the crunch of celery and the acidity of an onion, all simmering in chili powder, cumin and garlic, alongside chunks of satisfying beef. Stew can’t be a bowl of only carrots, or only beef. It loses the symphony of flavor. Similarly, the flavor of life is in each of our differences. If we were all carrots, the stew would taste terrible. When we embrace and even maximize our differences, we get a tasty meal, and a successful business.   Fostering this culture in the workplace starts with the leader. As Patrick often says, “more is caught than taught.” It takes a strong leader, like you, to be the one who sets the example for your team in how to work alongside, engage with and show love to one another, especially during a disagreement.   Consider modeling the following things:   Being unoffendable: As the leader, you need to be confident enough to know that other’s ideas, thoughts and opinions are not a threat to you. When someone thinks differently than you, it’s an opportunity to learn. If you don’t understand, ask questions until you do. If you find yourself in a conversation in which you are strongly disagreeing, walk away and come back later. You may find that you can let things go, or you may find that you can better address them later, after you have taken the time to think about it. Being unoffendable doesn’t mean that you allow people to say things to you that are hurtful, but it does mean that you don’t always respond right away. Take big breaths often. Give yourself the time and space you need to decide what needs to be addressed and what needs to be let go.   Thinking like family: Family members cannot up and leave one another. They are bound by blood. This means that reconciliation is necessary and practiced often. If there is conflict on your team, sit down with those involved and model talking it through with love and empathy. The answer to a problem is not to “ghost” someone by avoiding him or her, but rather to engage that person with questions, trying to reach that point of understanding. If the team thinks of themselves as brothers and sisters, the security of familial ties will propel them toward one another instead of away when challenges arise.   Assuming the best: It’s easy to assume that another person is intending to hurt you, when it’s simply a misunderstanding. Teach your team that it’s better to assume the best. Assume what you would want others to assume about you. When you don’t know, ask questions. You’ll quickly realize that you might have made it worse in your head than the reality. Someone didn’t return your email? It doesn’t mean that they didn’t like your idea. It’s more likely that the email was overlooked, or the response is requiring more thought or time than you had expected. Give other people more time, space and grace. Usually there’s much more going on under the surface with people than what meets the eye.   Communicating often then communicating some more: Communicate until you’re blue in the face, until you’re sure you’ve said the same thing ten times, until you really get your team rolling their eyes. Then you know that they understand. When plans, goals, concepts and requests are communicated poorly, it leaves room for confusion which then leads, unwittingly, to frustration. Unfortunately, many people can mistake feeling confused as feelings of inadequacy which causes them to shut down instead of asking questions. This then leads to feelings of resentment and avoidance. Strong communication from the get-go can help avoid unnecessary conflicts.   If you accidentally offend, apologize quickly: You will probably offend people. It’s mostly a fact of life. If it’s brought to your attention, be quick to apologize. You can also model addressing tension within the office. It’s always best to tell someone if he/she hurt or frustrated you. Ask questions. You could say something like, “Can you tell me more about your decision to xyz?” or “Is there a way that we could do xyz differently?”  If your team sees you apologizing, addressing things and quickly reconciling, they are likely to do the same.   This takes practice. It’s not easy to create this culture in the workplace but it is effective. Once those on your team feel like they can be genuine and still be accepted, cared for and loved, they will bring their best selves to the workplace—their great ideas, their great experiences, their excellent talent. This will lead to greater success for your team and your business.   ###   This blog is based loosely on the IOL Podcast #151: Global Community Builds Unity with Dave Strash. Check it out!   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger: