Five Benefits Gained Through Healthy Conflict

My dad taught me that it’s important to fire yourself at the end of the year, wait 10 seconds, soak up that horrible feeling, and then rehire yourself. Why in the world would my dad tell me to do this each year?   Give yourself a scare and new outlook. It’s better to pretend to fire yourself before it happens for real. Now strategize! What would you do differently if you were fired and rehired for the same job? You can’t grow to greater success if you don’t look at your failures and change them.   Yes, my dad could have been a Jedi Knight because he motivated himself and others through mind games. Most of those mind games made him and others extremely successful. I thought he was crazy when I was younger. Now I try to do everything he taught me.   It’s better to pretend to fire yourself before it happens for real.   When people get comfortable, they can become lazy, which can lead to poor results. Poor results can eventually lead to one being fired. Don’t wait for that awkward and regrettable moment. I’ve never met anyone that enjoys losing. Go ahead and make that awkward firing moment happen on your terms. Write yourself a termination letter and put reasons behind it. Punch yourself in the gut(words not literally) and make it hurt so you can learn.   What would you do differently if you were fired and rehired for the same job?   It’s so important to motivate yourself to think about new strategies to prevent becoming comfortable. You want to drive in better results every year, but you don’t change anything. How is that working for you? Nothing changes if nothing changes! If you had a record-breaking year…good for you…now get over it. No one cares what you did yesterday, last year, or five years ago. Business is about what you produce month-over-month and year-over-year. People don’t get fired because they are growing. People get fired when they get lazy or stop taking initiative to learn. How can you continue to push yourself to prove to everyone you are not playing it safe? What must you do to grow your success?   ACTION ITEM: Take 15 minutes and make a strategic list. Make sure you put these strategies into practice by putting each one on your calendar.   You can’t grow to greater success if you don’t look at your failures and change them.   No Time Management Your day is chaos. You feel no control in your day. You feel like nothing ever gets done that you want. Poor Communication You hold people to expectations that you did not share with them. People don’t live in your head. Use your words! No routine Schedule your work duties, and don’t get distracted. Give yourself time to think. Make sure to take PTO and recharge your batteries. Boring Meetings No one is excited to be there. No conflict. Watching the minutes for it to end. Talk Too Much – Poor Listening Don’t dominate the conversation. Make sure you shut your mouth and open your ears to hear what others have to say. Show respect to others by listening. Too Many Excuses For Missing Deadlines Nothing is worse than a boss demanding deadlines but the boss lives by double standards. Get your work finished on time. Set the bar with your actions. No Humility Say the words “I’m sorry!” and “It’s my fault!” No one wants to follow a leader who is arrogant and full of pride. Lack of Passion Zap your heart and get excited about your work. No one wants to follow someone who is lukewarm or passive. No Accountability You need someone who will speak TRUTH into you. Make sure to ask others how you are doing and listen to their advice. Broken Trust With Failed Promises Let your YES be YES and your NO be NO. Follow through on your commitments, and show up in mind, body and spirit when you arrive. Need more?  Book us to speak at your next event, and we’ll light it up! Check out our YouTube and LinkedIn pages for more encouraging content.   If you’re looking to take your growth as a leader to the next level, we’ve got you covered. Join the Impact of Leadership Community today!

Whoops! On Making Mistakes   I was working as an intern at a Public Relations and Marketing firm during my final year of college. I was tasked with creating an Excel document that showed one of our biggest clients how valuable our services were. It showed them, in dollars, how effectively we had carried out their campaign.   After compiling and calculating all that we had done, I discovered our final ROI number had six figures! My boss was elated. We celebrated with Guinness beers around the conference table, toasting to the fruit of our hard work.   A day later, my boss came back to me with the document and showed me an error I had made. In creating the Excel formula, I had accidentally doubled the final number. The ROI was a much more modest number, not six figures.   I still cringe thinking about that disappointment.   The highlight of the story, however, is that my boss was incredibly gracious and kind. She had every right to be angry. She was the one with egg on her face in front of the client. She  was the one who sat there while they pointed out that the math didn’t quite add up. Instead of passive aggressively taking me off additional projects or relegating me to endless Excel trainings, she calmly showed me the error and we talked about how to avoid it in the future. She continued to trust me and allow me to do work that was valuable to the firm.   This was the greater lesson to me—her excellent leadership. Not only did she handle my mistake with kindness, but she also gave me the space to learn from it. I worked much harder after that, double checking and rechecking the documents I created.   Over the years, I have come to see that these are some of the most important moments in leadership. These are the moments that define a leader, a company and a culture. A good leader chooses to teach and guide an employee in the face of an honest mistake instead of addressing it with frustration, ignoring it, or letting it impact that employee’s position in the company.  A good leader even turns that mistake into a very important opportunity.   Here are 3 quick tips on how to be a good leader in the face of others’ mistakes:   Don’t be surprised: People are human, mistakes are going to happen. There is no avoiding them. This is especially important for those of us who strive for perfection and think it is attainable. We must learn that no amount of planning, preparation or hard work is going to keep mistakes from happening. They are a fact of life and everyone makes them. I’ll say that again for those in the back. EVERYONE makes them.   Instead of treating mistakes like a nuisance, like a boulder in the middle of the road, or a stain on your favorite shirt, treat them like a welcome family member at a dinner party. They are good. They are necessary, and they will make your employees, and your company grow. They teach us important things and lead us places we did not even know we wanted to go. Let’s embrace them instead.   When they happen, handle them with tact. It’s best to address mistakes in private with the employee directly. Do it quickly and with discretion. Communicate what happened, any consequences of the mistake and the handling of them, and how it could be an opportunity for growth and change.   If it’s necessary to communicate with the entire team about the mistake, do so with thoughtfulness. Don’t forget to address the possibilities it has created or the positive outcomes. Be honest and open, but remember you frame the narrative. Think about what you are creating and how you want to lead through this, then choose your words, body language, and message accordingly.   Hold people accountable, coach them toward understanding and growth. Remember that mistakes are a part of growth so they should be welcomed and, in some cases, even embraced. Make sure you are not ignoring or avoiding them. Accountability is necessary. If the same mistake is being made over and over, that needs addressing. There will be no growth or learning if employees are not held accountable for their actions.   Remember that the same mistake might be made twice, coaching and leading requires a lot of patience, especially when working with employees who operate quite differently than you do. Bring in help from outside leaders or other coaches if needed. Notice pain points among your team where there might be a lot of mistakes being made. Large group training and coaching can also be helpful.   It may go without saying, but how you handle your own mistakes will say a lot about how you handle others’ mistakes. When you mess up, if you are quick to dust yourself off and try again, then you are more likely to have that same attitude with your employees. If you are hard on yourself, berate yourself and wallow in the failure, then you may have more trouble giving others space to make mistakes.   Consider these things and may you be the best leader you can be.   ###   This post is based on the IOL Podcast Episode #159: Embracing Economic Growth with Nicole Ryf. Listen for lots of good takeaways including more on leading through mistakes.   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger