Three Hardest Words To Say…“I Don’t Know!”

Embracing our differences in the workplace   I, like many, am thankful the election is over. I am happy to see yard signs disappear, text messages dwindle, and most of all—vitriolic commercials cease. This campaigning season seemed like a toxic game of tug-of-war from start to finish. I did, however, notice at least one positive thing emerge from this election cycle—a reminder that we are different.   Even if we look alike, talk alike, live near one another, have similar hobbies, even come from the same family, we sometimes and dare I say even often, have different beliefs, goals and desires. We are passionate about different things, called to different things and make different decisions, like which presidential candidate deserves our vote.   That’s just fine. I’ll say it louder, for those in the back. That’s JUST FINE. We can disagree and still have a relationship. We can be friends, we can be neighbors, we can be brothers, and we can still work well together.   In fact, in the workplace, our disagreements and differences are what makes us successful as a team. You’ve heard the common colloquialism, “variety is the spice of life.” Well, it’s stew season and never have I so appreciated the sweetness of carrots, mixed with the crunch of celery and the acidity of an onion, all simmering in chili powder, cumin and garlic, alongside chunks of satisfying beef. Stew can’t be a bowl of only carrots, or only beef. It loses the symphony of flavor. Similarly, the flavor of life is in each of our differences. If we were all carrots, the stew would taste terrible. When we embrace and even maximize our differences, we get a tasty meal, and a successful business.   Fostering this culture in the workplace starts with the leader. As Patrick often says, “more is caught than taught.” It takes a strong leader, like you, to be the one who sets the example for your team in how to work alongside, engage with and show love to one another, especially during a disagreement.   Consider modeling the following things:   Being unoffendable: As the leader, you need to be confident enough to know that other’s ideas, thoughts and opinions are not a threat to you. When someone thinks differently than you, it’s an opportunity to learn. If you don’t understand, ask questions until you do. If you find yourself in a conversation in which you are strongly disagreeing, walk away and come back later. You may find that you can let things go, or you may find that you can better address them later, after you have taken the time to think about it. Being unoffendable doesn’t mean that you allow people to say things to you that are hurtful, but it does mean that you don’t always respond right away. Take big breaths often. Give yourself the time and space you need to decide what needs to be addressed and what needs to be let go.   Thinking like family: Family members cannot up and leave one another. They are bound by blood. This means that reconciliation is necessary and practiced often. If there is conflict on your team, sit down with those involved and model talking it through with love and empathy. The answer to a problem is not to “ghost” someone by avoiding him or her, but rather to engage that person with questions, trying to reach that point of understanding. If the team thinks of themselves as brothers and sisters, the security of familial ties will propel them toward one another instead of away when challenges arise.   Assuming the best: It’s easy to assume that another person is intending to hurt you, when it’s simply a misunderstanding. Teach your team that it’s better to assume the best. Assume what you would want others to assume about you. When you don’t know, ask questions. You’ll quickly realize that you might have made it worse in your head than the reality. Someone didn’t return your email? It doesn’t mean that they didn’t like your idea. It’s more likely that the email was overlooked, or the response is requiring more thought or time than you had expected. Give other people more time, space and grace. Usually there’s much more going on under the surface with people than what meets the eye.   Communicating often then communicating some more: Communicate until you’re blue in the face, until you’re sure you’ve said the same thing ten times, until you really get your team rolling their eyes. Then you know that they understand. When plans, goals, concepts and requests are communicated poorly, it leaves room for confusion which then leads, unwittingly, to frustration. Unfortunately, many people can mistake feeling confused as feelings of inadequacy which causes them to shut down instead of asking questions. This then leads to feelings of resentment and avoidance. Strong communication from the get-go can help avoid unnecessary conflicts.   If you accidentally offend, apologize quickly: You will probably offend people. It’s mostly a fact of life. If it’s brought to your attention, be quick to apologize. You can also model addressing tension within the office. It’s always best to tell someone if he/she hurt or frustrated you. Ask questions. You could say something like, “Can you tell me more about your decision to xyz?” or “Is there a way that we could do xyz differently?”  If your team sees you apologizing, addressing things and quickly reconciling, they are likely to do the same.   This takes practice. It’s not easy to create this culture in the workplace but it is effective. Once those on your team feel like they can be genuine and still be accepted, cared for and loved, they will bring their best selves to the workplace—their great ideas, their great experiences, their excellent talent. This will lead to greater success for your team and your business.   ###   This blog is based loosely on the IOL Podcast #151: Global Community Builds Unity with Dave Strash. Check it out!   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger:

The past few months, I have launched a new series called “Leadership Exposed” on our podcast. This idea was born as Steve Scherer and I were thinking about new ways to connect with our listeners. We asked ourselves.... What are leaders needing to grow? How can I help them? What do I wish I knew when I started out as a leader? Then it hit me, leaders need to hear the truth on where I have failed so they can be better than me.   At IOL, we believe more is learned from failures than successes.   This is a twenty-minute series because you are too busy to hear me speak for an hour.   We have launched 3 episodes (today is the release of #3) where I share real stories to learn about my mistakes as a leader so you can learn.   Most people don’t want to share where they messed up because there is a fear that others will realize we aren’t perfect. We believe at The Impact of Leadership that we want to focus on the real issues not the fluffy stuff.   Here is a recap of lessons learned in the first three episodes:   Episode 1: Into to this series & hiring the wrong people.  *Click on the link to hear the episode.  Don’t ignore your gut when something feels off in the interview. Ask key questions and get clarity when you feel confusion with the answers given. Check their references (warning: no managers listed is a RED FLAG) to understand how to coach them well. Confirm they fit your company’s core values – create your own if you don’t have. Walk away if they are the wrong fit – it’s better to walk away if there is doubt.   Episode 2:  Are you a BSer?! *Click on the link to hear the episode.  Take time to ask follow up questions and compare the answers you are getting to confirm accuracy. Keep asking questions! It’s okay for a leader to be honest and say “I don’t know” to employees’ questions vs. making up something. Don’t overpromise and under deliver. Ask employees, not managers, how they are doing to hear their direct heart. Keep your commitments and define boundaries as a leader. Take action!   Episode 3: The difference between being a good boss vs. a great boss. *Click on the link to hear the episode.  A great boss… Bring accountability to your team. Give clear and specific directions with deadlines to your team. Be intentional, decisive and proactive. You cannot be a people pleaser. Ask “WHY” questions and listen well. Is passionate not emotional that is all over the place. Has integrity, vision, humility, creativity, emotional intelligence, etc. – lead in front.   No one is perfect so let’s be real on where we fail and how we have grown from our mistakes.   Nothing changes, if nothing changes.   You are not alone, we want to engage with you.   Reach out to me directly [email protected] if I can be of any help.   *JOIN CCB TECHNOLOGY FOR A LIVE IT SECURITY EVENT ON MARCH 19TH* https://ccbtechnology.com/security-summit/ Register HERE Use discount code: Save50 – This will give you a $50 discount at registration.