You Can Bring Up the Room

Whoops! On Making Mistakes   I was working as an intern at a Public Relations and Marketing firm during my final year of college. I was tasked with creating an Excel document that showed one of our biggest clients how valuable our services were. It showed them, in dollars, how effectively we had carried out their campaign.   After compiling and calculating all that we had done, I discovered our final ROI number had six figures! My boss was elated. We celebrated with Guinness beers around the conference table, toasting to the fruit of our hard work.   A day later, my boss came back to me with the document and showed me an error I had made. In creating the Excel formula, I had accidentally doubled the final number. The ROI was a much more modest number, not six figures.   I still cringe thinking about that disappointment.   The highlight of the story, however, is that my boss was incredibly gracious and kind. She had every right to be angry. She was the one with egg on her face in front of the client. She  was the one who sat there while they pointed out that the math didn’t quite add up. Instead of passive aggressively taking me off additional projects or relegating me to endless Excel trainings, she calmly showed me the error and we talked about how to avoid it in the future. She continued to trust me and allow me to do work that was valuable to the firm.   This was the greater lesson to me—her excellent leadership. Not only did she handle my mistake with kindness, but she also gave me the space to learn from it. I worked much harder after that, double checking and rechecking the documents I created.   Over the years, I have come to see that these are some of the most important moments in leadership. These are the moments that define a leader, a company and a culture. A good leader chooses to teach and guide an employee in the face of an honest mistake instead of addressing it with frustration, ignoring it, or letting it impact that employee’s position in the company.  A good leader even turns that mistake into a very important opportunity.   Here are 3 quick tips on how to be a good leader in the face of others’ mistakes:   Don’t be surprised: People are human, mistakes are going to happen. There is no avoiding them. This is especially important for those of us who strive for perfection and think it is attainable. We must learn that no amount of planning, preparation or hard work is going to keep mistakes from happening. They are a fact of life and everyone makes them. I’ll say that again for those in the back. EVERYONE makes them.   Instead of treating mistakes like a nuisance, like a boulder in the middle of the road, or a stain on your favorite shirt, treat them like a welcome family member at a dinner party. They are good. They are necessary, and they will make your employees, and your company grow. They teach us important things and lead us places we did not even know we wanted to go. Let’s embrace them instead.   When they happen, handle them with tact. It’s best to address mistakes in private with the employee directly. Do it quickly and with discretion. Communicate what happened, any consequences of the mistake and the handling of them, and how it could be an opportunity for growth and change.   If it’s necessary to communicate with the entire team about the mistake, do so with thoughtfulness. Don’t forget to address the possibilities it has created or the positive outcomes. Be honest and open, but remember you frame the narrative. Think about what you are creating and how you want to lead through this, then choose your words, body language, and message accordingly.   Hold people accountable, coach them toward understanding and growth. Remember that mistakes are a part of growth so they should be welcomed and, in some cases, even embraced. Make sure you are not ignoring or avoiding them. Accountability is necessary. If the same mistake is being made over and over, that needs addressing. There will be no growth or learning if employees are not held accountable for their actions.   Remember that the same mistake might be made twice, coaching and leading requires a lot of patience, especially when working with employees who operate quite differently than you do. Bring in help from outside leaders or other coaches if needed. Notice pain points among your team where there might be a lot of mistakes being made. Large group training and coaching can also be helpful.   It may go without saying, but how you handle your own mistakes will say a lot about how you handle others’ mistakes. When you mess up, if you are quick to dust yourself off and try again, then you are more likely to have that same attitude with your employees. If you are hard on yourself, berate yourself and wallow in the failure, then you may have more trouble giving others space to make mistakes.   Consider these things and may you be the best leader you can be.   ###   This post is based on the IOL Podcast Episode #159: Embracing Economic Growth with Nicole Ryf. Listen for lots of good takeaways including more on leading through mistakes.   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger

Embracing our differences in the workplace   I, like many, am thankful the election is over. I am happy to see yard signs disappear, text messages dwindle, and most of all—vitriolic commercials cease. This campaigning season seemed like a toxic game of tug-of-war from start to finish. I did, however, notice at least one positive thing emerge from this election cycle—a reminder that we are different.   Even if we look alike, talk alike, live near one another, have similar hobbies, even come from the same family, we sometimes and dare I say even often, have different beliefs, goals and desires. We are passionate about different things, called to different things and make different decisions, like which presidential candidate deserves our vote.   That’s just fine. I’ll say it louder, for those in the back. That’s JUST FINE. We can disagree and still have a relationship. We can be friends, we can be neighbors, we can be brothers, and we can still work well together.   In fact, in the workplace, our disagreements and differences are what makes us successful as a team. You’ve heard the common colloquialism, “variety is the spice of life.” Well, it’s stew season and never have I so appreciated the sweetness of carrots, mixed with the crunch of celery and the acidity of an onion, all simmering in chili powder, cumin and garlic, alongside chunks of satisfying beef. Stew can’t be a bowl of only carrots, or only beef. It loses the symphony of flavor. Similarly, the flavor of life is in each of our differences. If we were all carrots, the stew would taste terrible. When we embrace and even maximize our differences, we get a tasty meal, and a successful business.   Fostering this culture in the workplace starts with the leader. As Patrick often says, “more is caught than taught.” It takes a strong leader, like you, to be the one who sets the example for your team in how to work alongside, engage with and show love to one another, especially during a disagreement.   Consider modeling the following things:   Being unoffendable: As the leader, you need to be confident enough to know that other’s ideas, thoughts and opinions are not a threat to you. When someone thinks differently than you, it’s an opportunity to learn. If you don’t understand, ask questions until you do. If you find yourself in a conversation in which you are strongly disagreeing, walk away and come back later. You may find that you can let things go, or you may find that you can better address them later, after you have taken the time to think about it. Being unoffendable doesn’t mean that you allow people to say things to you that are hurtful, but it does mean that you don’t always respond right away. Take big breaths often. Give yourself the time and space you need to decide what needs to be addressed and what needs to be let go.   Thinking like family: Family members cannot up and leave one another. They are bound by blood. This means that reconciliation is necessary and practiced often. If there is conflict on your team, sit down with those involved and model talking it through with love and empathy. The answer to a problem is not to “ghost” someone by avoiding him or her, but rather to engage that person with questions, trying to reach that point of understanding. If the team thinks of themselves as brothers and sisters, the security of familial ties will propel them toward one another instead of away when challenges arise.   Assuming the best: It’s easy to assume that another person is intending to hurt you, when it’s simply a misunderstanding. Teach your team that it’s better to assume the best. Assume what you would want others to assume about you. When you don’t know, ask questions. You’ll quickly realize that you might have made it worse in your head than the reality. Someone didn’t return your email? It doesn’t mean that they didn’t like your idea. It’s more likely that the email was overlooked, or the response is requiring more thought or time than you had expected. Give other people more time, space and grace. Usually there’s much more going on under the surface with people than what meets the eye.   Communicating often then communicating some more: Communicate until you’re blue in the face, until you’re sure you’ve said the same thing ten times, until you really get your team rolling their eyes. Then you know that they understand. When plans, goals, concepts and requests are communicated poorly, it leaves room for confusion which then leads, unwittingly, to frustration. Unfortunately, many people can mistake feeling confused as feelings of inadequacy which causes them to shut down instead of asking questions. This then leads to feelings of resentment and avoidance. Strong communication from the get-go can help avoid unnecessary conflicts.   If you accidentally offend, apologize quickly: You will probably offend people. It’s mostly a fact of life. If it’s brought to your attention, be quick to apologize. You can also model addressing tension within the office. It’s always best to tell someone if he/she hurt or frustrated you. Ask questions. You could say something like, “Can you tell me more about your decision to xyz?” or “Is there a way that we could do xyz differently?”  If your team sees you apologizing, addressing things and quickly reconciling, they are likely to do the same.   This takes practice. It’s not easy to create this culture in the workplace but it is effective. Once those on your team feel like they can be genuine and still be accepted, cared for and loved, they will bring their best selves to the workplace—their great ideas, their great experiences, their excellent talent. This will lead to greater success for your team and your business.   ###   This blog is based loosely on the IOL Podcast #151: Global Community Builds Unity with Dave Strash. Check it out!   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger: