Screw Comfort, Embrace the Challenge

Picking Your Word for 2025 When my oldest son was born, my husband and I picked a few words to speak over him at bedtime every night. We chose simple concepts with deep meaning.  We hoped the repetition and intention would plant seeds in him that would one day yield a person who was grounded, confident and capable. We trusted God would take our words and use them to help turn our son into the person that he was to become.   Each night we say to him:   “We love you, we are proud of you, and we believe in you.”   We now have three sons, and we say it to all of them individually. Our 4-year-old even repeats it back to us each night before we leave their room. It has become a bedtime blessing from us to them, from them to us.   “We love you. We are proud of you. We believe in you.”   Words are powerful. They really matter.   We can say up to thousands of words in one day offhandedly, giving them almost no thought at all. We can also say a few phrases with power and intention, and they make a huge difference. Phrases like, “I do. I’m sorry. I can’t. I can.”   As leaders, let us understand the power of words. Let us understand that what we say makes a difference. With words we can build others up, shine light in dark spaces, speak encouragement, share passion and vision, dispel doubt, conquer fears and bolster a team.   We can also become better.   As we begin a new year, allow me to encourage you to pick your word and claim its power over your year. This is a word that you feel rumbling inside of you. It’s already there. You know it’s something that you need to work on, you’ve witnessed yourself already wrestling with it. Maybe you’ve even started changing in that direction, but now it’s time to declare it.   For Patrick, in 2024 it was, “consistency” and in 2023 it was, “urgency.”   For me, it was, “with joy” (two words, yes) and before that, “stay.”     These words mark intention. They declare growth. They anchor us. As the clock ticks on and we are plunged headfirst into another year, we can take this word and allow it to ground our work, our home and our lives.   It’s time to pick your word.   Here are a few steps to take:   Sit Quietly.   Sit in a spot that is pleasing to you. It could be a sunny spot near a window, or your favorite chair next to the hearth. It could also be in the driver’s seat of your car if that’s where you find you have a moment. Think about your word but let your thoughts roam freely. Ponder your past year and the one to come. Note your accomplishments and dream about where you want to be in the coming years. After a few minutes, you’ll start to see a few words emerge. Write them down somewhere and look at them, slowly pinpointing which one might be right for 2025.   Carry it with you.   Have a couple conversations with others about your word. Talk to your spouse or a co-worker. Listen to what you have to say about it. This will help you clarify what it means to you. If you are considering a few different words, then talk about all of them, discarding them if they don’t seem like the right fit for the year.   Decide.   You may not have absolute clarity. That’s okay. Move forward with a word and your decision will clarify it. The energy and intention that you put toward your word will shape you in that direction and will create that growth. You need not wrestle over the “right” word, there really is no such thing.   Post it.   You need to see your word regularly. Let it be a reminder and a friend. Put it on your bathroom mirror, in the center console of your car and in your office. The more you interact with your word, the more it will guide you as the year barrels on and you find yourself in the thick of it, making decisions, taking risks, starting new things, working on your relationships, pushing for success and resting. It will permeate the spheres that matter, and it will help you to grow.   My oldest son is now in third grade. At his most recent conference, his teacher told us that he’s a joy to have in her classroom. She said he seems to know who he is and to love his life and his family. While there are many parenting factors at play in that significant feedback, I know that the words we have spoken over him have certainly attributed to it.   So, now is the time. Pick your word. Declare it over your year. Be the leader that you intend to be.   Happy New Year! Author: Ashley Buenger   

Leaving a Legacy Ron Tatum was walking through Wal-Mart with his wife one afternoon when a young store employee walked up to him and told him that he owed Tatum a debt of gratitude. The young man reminded Tatum that, years prior, he had given the young man interview advice when the man was re-entering society after being incarcerated. Using the advice, the man had landed the job at Wal-Mart on the spot and was soon to become a manager.   This sort of interaction happens to Tatum all the time. Due to his mentor mindset, the Executive Director of Kenosha-area non-profit organization, KAFASI has impacted the lives of close to two hundred young people. He has been mentoring for over twenty years, a service he considers paid forward since he was mentored when he was young.    “I was once statistically identified as an African American black male who wouldn’t make it out of the inner city,” Tatum says. “Now, I’m an Executive Director.  But there is a journey associated with that. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I could’ve been dead somewhere or in jail or prison easily with the group and the crowd who I associated myself with at a young age. It was through my mentors and with the faith passed down to me from my family, that I began to see something in myself I hadn’t before.”   Tatum cites two major mentors: a former supervisor and his mother. His supervisor noticed right away that Tatum could be an executive director one day. She told him so and asked him to trust her so she could help him get there. His mom, a lifelong mentor to him and to other kids in his neighborhood, reminded him that life was meant to be lived for others.   Now Tatum is a great leader who is making a significant impact.   Mentoring others is powerful, life-changing, and well worth the work. However, it isn’t easy. In theory, it may be something that many think highly of, but in practice, it’s not always done well or at all.   Many leaders are where they are today because of a mentor—someone else who was generous with their time and energy—who guided them, showing them what the future could be as a result of hard work and dedication, offering sound advice that spoke into their lives during particular situations.   Tatum considers “paying it forward” as a part of his duty as a leader. He was given an opportunity because of his mentors so he should offer the same to others. Considering Tatum’s example, here are 3 qualities of a highly effective mentor:   A Heart of Humility and Gratitude: It begins with humility in understanding that you have what you do because others helped you achieve it. You didn’t land where you are completely on your own with your own power and will. From that humility comes gratitude. Out of that gratitude you extend the same kindness to someone else. Begin by identifying someone in your life in which you see potential and then offer to spend some time with him or her. Ask if he or she would be interested in being mentored and go from there.   The Ability to Point out Calling: From your position that is higher up and further ahead of someone you are mentoring, you can see things your mentee cannot. You have experience, wisdom and understanding you can offer. Take time to identify what gifts and talents your mentee might possess and what opportunities they have in front of them. Offer advice on how to use those things to move forward toward success. It may not be the same path that you took, so be thoughtful in helping to create a path for your mentee that is a fit for him or her.   Committed when it gets tough: Just because you offer great insight, doesn’t always mean that it’s received the way you think it should be. In a mentor and mentee role, the mentor is patient and committed, adjusting messaging and lessons that help the mentee to understand, especially in times that might be a little frustrating. It doesn’t mean that you should require your mentee to wax multiple cars, but well, why not?  You are helping another person learn and grow. Your role might require you to get a little creative. Treating your mentee with love, patience, and kindness won’t steer you wrong.   Tatum says mentoring has been some of the most important work of his life. “Things you do for yourself are gone when you’re gone,” Tatum says, “But things you do for others, will remain as your everlasting legacy.”   At Impact of Leadership, we emphasize the importance of leaving a legacy. The most important work you do is not gaining a paycheck or scaling your business, it’s in taking your resources and choosing to make the world a better place.   ###   This post is based on the IOL Podcast Episode #154: Impacting Your Community with Servant Leadership & Mentorship.   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger.