Screw Comfort, Embrace the Challenge

On Building Relationships   It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. That phrase has become so commonplace it’s almost like white noise. She got that first interview because of who she knew, he scored that big promotion because of who he knew, they got that recommendation because of who they know, we won the award because of who we know.   Sometimes this phrase is uttered with a sardonic undertone, as if who you know somehow isn’t as important as what you know. As if because you know someone, you were given something you don’t deserve. It sometimes seems that what you know should be more important than who you know.   However, as evidence shows, it’s not.   We can’t ignore the fact that we operate in relation to one another. Our relationships are the most important thing. With our spouses, our children, our friends, our co-workers, our bosses. We are relational people who build systems, groups and businesses around one another, for one another, with another and because of one another.   Steve Kohlmann, Executive Director of the Independent Business Association of Wisconsin, has spent years watching people connect, grow and succeed because of one another. He says that leaving a legacy looks a lot like helping one another. It doesn’t matter if two people are even in business in the same field, they can still offer one another support, perspective, recommendations and more. Business is an ecosystem and it’s best to get as connected as possible.   This doesn’t mean you have to join five networking groups, spend your weeknights at social mixers, or sign up for pricey country clubs. Though, those things don’t hurt. You can start simpler. Consider the following:    Adopt a HELPING mindset: It’s not a dog-eat-dog world out there. It’s a dog HELP dog world. Even if you’re in a cutthroat industry, don’t let the social media or the news tell you otherwise. You don’t have to put others down to lift yourself help. Instead, lift others up and they will also lift you. Kindness and generosity will get you much farther than malice and greed. Though the latter makes for better television, I’ll admit. But this is real life so be kind.   Make connections: Small or large, make connections wherever you go. Smile and introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Ask other people questions about themselves, they love that. Whether it’s in a business context or simply in line at the grocery store, get good at being friendly and interested in others. Eventually this will become more natural, and you will realize that you are quite connected in various aspects of your life. You never know when these connections will come in handy. One random day, for instance, you’ll learn that so and so’s sister’s friend needs your business or that so and so’s sister’s friend has something that you need. Ah, there it is, symbiosis.   Don’t let fear win: We sometimes have an innate fear of meeting new people. This comes from the fact that most of us have been hurt by someone somewhere along the way. It could’ve been a past hurt by a friend, business partner or an ex-girlfriend. It was probably someone that we trusted, so the hurt can run deep. Don’t let that hurt keep you from believing the best in others. Start new relationships anyway. Make new connections despite the fear. Don’t lead with suspicion or judgment, most people can sniff that out. Instead, be confident and courageous. The payoffs of forging new friendships are far greater than the risks.   A business networking group such as IBAW might be a great fit for you. Remember, as Steve Kohlmann says, it’s much like a gym membership, you get out what you put in. Just like you can’t sign up for the Y and expect a six-pack to simply appear, you can’t sign up for a networking group and expect to feel connected, you must show up and give of your time and energy. But, also like that six-pack, put in the work and the pay-off is worth it.   ###   This post is based on the IOL Podcast #164: The Power of Perspective Over Advice with Steve Kohlmann. Check it out!   Author: Ashley Buenger

Don’t Quit I’ve been at this for some time now. As a leader, I have seen the good, bad and ugly. I have led through hard times (ahem, Covid) and high times. I have seen shifts in what works and what doesn’t. I have hired good people and not so good people. I have said goodbye to  employees I thought would stay, and applauded underdog employees as they soared and excelled.   I have learned the things that I’m good at and the things that I’m not. I have made great decisions and major mistakes. I have laughed and cried, danced and grieved. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and sometimes, wanted to give up completely.   It’s not easy, this leadership thing. Sometimes I feel crazy. Sometimes I feel like I can’t possibly give enough time to both my family and to my job and keep finding time to sleep in the mix. After all of that, after it’s all said and done, I want you to know that it’s worth it.   Thanks to the great leader that my dad was before me, I have witnessed what it looks like to be resilient. He taught me what it looked like to keep going when the odds were not in his favor and when the people around him told him that he would probably fail. He showed me how hard work and staying the course leads to success and how vision and passion are essential.   Today, I am still here. I am still a leader. If I can do it then you can, too. Here are some things I learned along the way:   You Don’t Have to Do it Alone:   I have always needed people around me. My fellow leaders, family and friends have gotten me through the hardest times and my faith has truly anchored me during the storms. When the responsibility of leadership feels large and crushing, I remember to lean on them and ask them for help, for a word of encouragement, a listening ear, advice and sometimes a kick in the butt. Listening to other leaders reminds me that I’m not the only one experiencing leadership challenges. I learn from those who have gone before me and am inspired by those who have continued to lead.   Remember the Vision:   My dad was passionate about providing technology to non-profits and those who couldn’t pay the market rates. His passion carried him through the toughest of times. He had vision for a company that charged significantly lower rates than the competition and could still be successful. He didn’t give up until he had done it. I am thankful for his example. His passion reminds me the reason behind the work that I do, and on the hard days, that’s enough.   Don’t Work Too Hard:   Do work hard, but also laugh. There’s always room for fun. Make sure you don’t staunch other people’s humor or joy. Don’t book your days so full that you don’t have time for a great conversation, or to listen to a joke or to join in when someone is playing a game. Be light-hearted, quick to listen, smile and forgive. Remember not to take yourself or the work too seriously. Remember to see people for who they are and not what they can do. This will create a culture at work that is attractive and successful. It will bleed over into your leadership team and into their lives at home, making a huge different in their lives and your own.   Don’t Quit:   Sometimes the best advice is just to keep going. Get up tomorrow and do it again. Don’t give in to the stress or the negativity. Don’t believe that you can’t do it. Failure is not final if you don’t give up. Expectations might change and the work you are doing might shift. You may need to change your mindset or shift your priorities or take a step back for a season, but don’t stop. Don’t throw in the towel. Other people need you to be a good leader and to persevere when it gets hard. Remember the vision, ask for help, and keep going.   At Impact of Leadership, our goal is to come alongside you to help you grow. We can relate to all that you’re going through. We can help you avoid burnout and give you a place where you feel comfortable, have fun and get your cup filled. We know it’s hard to grow and learn while leading at the same time, so we have lots of resources available to you on the website.   Check out our 164 podcasts and 114 blogs.   Reach out, I’d love to connect with you.   Remember you’re not alone.