Full Hands

Whoops! On Making Mistakes   I was working as an intern at a Public Relations and Marketing firm during my final year of college. I was tasked with creating an Excel document that showed one of our biggest clients how valuable our services were. It showed them, in dollars, how effectively we had carried out their campaign.   After compiling and calculating all that we had done, I discovered our final ROI number had six figures! My boss was elated. We celebrated with Guinness beers around the conference table, toasting to the fruit of our hard work.   A day later, my boss came back to me with the document and showed me an error I had made. In creating the Excel formula, I had accidentally doubled the final number. The ROI was a much more modest number, not six figures.   I still cringe thinking about that disappointment.   The highlight of the story, however, is that my boss was incredibly gracious and kind. She had every right to be angry. She was the one with egg on her face in front of the client. She  was the one who sat there while they pointed out that the math didn’t quite add up. Instead of passive aggressively taking me off additional projects or relegating me to endless Excel trainings, she calmly showed me the error and we talked about how to avoid it in the future. She continued to trust me and allow me to do work that was valuable to the firm.   This was the greater lesson to me—her excellent leadership. Not only did she handle my mistake with kindness, but she also gave me the space to learn from it. I worked much harder after that, double checking and rechecking the documents I created.   Over the years, I have come to see that these are some of the most important moments in leadership. These are the moments that define a leader, a company and a culture. A good leader chooses to teach and guide an employee in the face of an honest mistake instead of addressing it with frustration, ignoring it, or letting it impact that employee’s position in the company.  A good leader even turns that mistake into a very important opportunity.   Here are 3 quick tips on how to be a good leader in the face of others’ mistakes:   Don’t be surprised: People are human, mistakes are going to happen. There is no avoiding them. This is especially important for those of us who strive for perfection and think it is attainable. We must learn that no amount of planning, preparation or hard work is going to keep mistakes from happening. They are a fact of life and everyone makes them. I’ll say that again for those in the back. EVERYONE makes them.   Instead of treating mistakes like a nuisance, like a boulder in the middle of the road, or a stain on your favorite shirt, treat them like a welcome family member at a dinner party. They are good. They are necessary, and they will make your employees, and your company grow. They teach us important things and lead us places we did not even know we wanted to go. Let’s embrace them instead.   When they happen, handle them with tact. It’s best to address mistakes in private with the employee directly. Do it quickly and with discretion. Communicate what happened, any consequences of the mistake and the handling of them, and how it could be an opportunity for growth and change.   If it’s necessary to communicate with the entire team about the mistake, do so with thoughtfulness. Don’t forget to address the possibilities it has created or the positive outcomes. Be honest and open, but remember you frame the narrative. Think about what you are creating and how you want to lead through this, then choose your words, body language, and message accordingly.   Hold people accountable, coach them toward understanding and growth. Remember that mistakes are a part of growth so they should be welcomed and, in some cases, even embraced. Make sure you are not ignoring or avoiding them. Accountability is necessary. If the same mistake is being made over and over, that needs addressing. There will be no growth or learning if employees are not held accountable for their actions.   Remember that the same mistake might be made twice, coaching and leading requires a lot of patience, especially when working with employees who operate quite differently than you do. Bring in help from outside leaders or other coaches if needed. Notice pain points among your team where there might be a lot of mistakes being made. Large group training and coaching can also be helpful.   It may go without saying, but how you handle your own mistakes will say a lot about how you handle others’ mistakes. When you mess up, if you are quick to dust yourself off and try again, then you are more likely to have that same attitude with your employees. If you are hard on yourself, berate yourself and wallow in the failure, then you may have more trouble giving others space to make mistakes.   Consider these things and may you be the best leader you can be.   ###   This post is based on the IOL Podcast Episode #159: Embracing Economic Growth with Nicole Ryf. Listen for lots of good takeaways including more on leading through mistakes.   This blog was written by Ashley Buenger

Overcoming Fear While on a plane from Denver to Milwaukee, I had the pleasure of watching the movie King Richard, the story of Venus and Serena Williams who both became world champion tennis players thanks to the perseverance and tenacity of their father. He dreamt of their success when they were young and pushed them to colossal heights never reached by any other female athlete.   I was astounded by Richard’s faith in his vision for his daughters and his willingness to sacrifice his time, energy and reputation to see it come to fruition. Nothing could stop him, not poverty, critics, lack of education or even reports of abuse that were untrue. As we all know, his dream became a reality.   Not long after that, I began listening to the autobiography of Bethany Hamilton, a professional surfer whose left arm was eaten by a tiger shark when she was a teenager. Within a year of her accident, she was on her board again and winning competitions. She even says that she wouldn’t change the accident if she could. Her perseverance and desire to pursue her dream despite major setbacks is truly remarkable and inspiring.   Both these stories are examples of the seemingly impossible, becoming possible. These are ordinary people with extraordinary ability to fight fear. Had Richard been afraid of failure, or being laughed at by others, he would not have succeeded. Had Bethany been afraid of sharks or what people would say about her, she would not have gotten back in the water.   Fear keeps the impossible from being possible. It keeps us in the same place, too paralyzed to move forward, too paralyzed to overcome trials. However, without fear, the impossible is always possible. I keep coming back to Richard and Bethany. They persevered, didn’t let fear take hold, and they achieved what they had set out to do, no matter how impossible it seemed.   So, do they have a special sauce? Do they have tricks or magic or a particular chromosome that most of us don’t? Nope. Is this something that any of us can do? Yup. Is it easy? Nope. But, if you happen to have a dream—to build a business, to lose weight, to write a novel, to travel the world finding and eating the best cuisine, to climb mountains, whatever it is—I would put money on the fact that once you face down your fear, you will do it.   Here's a couple tips on how to start going about doing that:   Recognize your God-given passion and skills. This one needs a lot of prayer. I, for one, struggle with identifying this. What is my one passion? I want to do LOTS of things, so sometimes I sit doing nothing because I simply can’t choose. Should I write a book or start a Youtube channel or become a life coach or maybe purchase and run a business? Truth is, I could do any of that, but when someone asks me about that intersection where my passion meets my skill set, I know what my dream is. Sometimes, I’m just too scared to admit it because if I pursue that dream, couldn’t I fail? Which leads to the next point.   Identify the fear. You don’t have to face it yet. Just start calling it out. Fear can wear many faces. It’s sneaky. It shows up in the form of greed or a scarcity mentality. I couldn’t possibly do that, I don’t have enough money. It can show up in isolation or loneliness. I won’t talk about my dreams because others will think I’m crazy or laugh at me.   Recently I lashed out at my husband regarding something he said. I heard something he didn’t actually say and responded to my fear instead. The areas in your life where you feel tension, those are the places to look at first. When you have anxiety, anger, frustration, or irritation—are you actually feeling fear? Are you actually letting fear win?   Trust that it’s going to be ok. Now you must work. Once you identify the fear, you now need to choose to trust that it’s going to be ok. If someone reams you out on social media, you lose the money, your business doesn’t grow for a year, or your worst fears come true like you get half eaten by a shark, trust that even then, life goes on, it’s all going to be ok. You can always keep going, despite rhyme or reason or others telling you can’t, you can.   Practice talking back to the fear each time it crops up. Each time you feel its slippery wet claws creeping up your neck, you talk back to it. You say, “No, you’re not real. No matter what you say, or what could happen, I’m going to succeed, no matter what.” Keep doing this, and it’ll get easier, I promise.   Choose what you listen to. Now that you are on track to fulfilling your dreams, now that you have identified those voices of fear in your life and started talking back to them, you need to keep fighting for it. Fear is relentless and the devil is good at cloaking lies that are designed to make you afraid. News cycles, “the economy will tank”, other people’s fears, “what’s this world coming to?”, or social media influencers, “you can’t have what you want, unless you buy this thing.” All lies. Be aware of your influences and who you are surrounding yourself with. Don’t spend more time listening to the negative voices than the positive ones.   Do it. This is my favorite piece of advice. It’s so simple and yet so challenging. Stop talking about the thing you want to do, stop thinking about it, stop pining after it or writing about it in your journal. Just do it. You have fought the voices, you are punching fear in the face, now you just need to show up and play tennis, surf, write your novel, design those shoes or be a great mom. Just do it. And freaking have the best time doing it.   It's not a perfect formula. I don’t know what is. But I know that there’s something here. I know that God created us in his image and as a result, we have greatness within us. The stories around us remind us of this. The stories of Richard and Bethany and many other inspiring activists, athletes, writers, singers, designers, builders and more-- are real and they showcase that the seemingly impossible is actually possible. Let that inspire you because it can be you who achieves a dream. It really can.   Written by Ashley Buenger